Elementary Manners
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What You Must DO!!
Review several times and practice actions daily.
First SubTopic:
Linen napkin and Paper napkin
Linen and paper napkins should be used in the same manner.
You pick your napkin up when your host or hostess does and, if it is a small napkin, open it up entirely on your lap.
If it is a large dinner napkin, please leave it folded in half on your lap.
Never, ever...tuck it in your shirt or anywhere on your person.
Always use your napkin before you drink so you will not smear the edge of the glass. (men too..)
Always use your napkin after using your fingers to eat approved finger foods. Never lick your fingers after.
Never use your napkin to take anything out of your mouth. When you need to take anything out of your mouth take it out of your mouth the way it went in, clean the pit or bone as much as possible in your mouth, then put it in your spoon or fork with your lips, and then to the edge of your plate. With fruit that is eaten with you hands, you take the pit out of your mouth with your fingers.
When your finished eating, leave your napkin unfolded beside your plate–either side.
Please never roll your napkin in to a ball and throw it on the top of your plate.
Second SubTopic: Rules of the table
If and when you are served by a host or hostess, please be patient until he or she sits down and picks up his or her napkin before you do.
When there are many people at the table or in the room, it is correct to start as soon as a few people have been served.
Always sit easily, not slumped over in your seat. Posture is very key to presence.
Slowly escort your food into your mouth, never chase the food with your mouth in to your plate.
Never hover over your plate.
Only when eating, it is perfectly all proper to put your elbows on the table, one elbow is more graceful than two.
When you are finished with the meal never push your chair back, do not sit sideways with your knees crossed and never lean back with the chair resting on two legs.
When the meal is over, wait until your hostess suggests leaving the table, then push your chair back and get up. If a young boy or man has risen first, he should help the lady next to him with her chair.
Third SubTopic: Eating with utensils
The rule is: At the table the utensils to be used first are located on the outside of the plate.
It is fine to use your knife and fork either in the American way (changeover after each slice) or in the European way, with the fork in the left hand (tines down) the knife in the right, and the food put into the mouth with the fork still held in the left hand. (I perfer this way).
Forth SubTopic: More Rules
After using the silver never put it on the table or tablecloth or use it in a dish that other people eat out of. When you are not using it, leave it on your plate.
A spoon is left in your soup plate. It is left in an ice – tea glass if there is no saucer under it, but it is never at any other time left in a bowl, cup or glass.
When finished with any course, put the silver on the plate in such a way that it won't fall off when the plate is removed. The handles go to the right and the utensils should be together and parallel to the edge of the table.
One bite at a time is the rule for slicing and eating food. Bread is also broken into one – or two – bite pieces and buttered one piece at a time.
Please don't put too much food in your mouth, or speak while you chew, or chew with your lips apart making sounds.
Don't mix things or mash food on your plate. If you want a mixture, put a little of each food on your fork. The saying "it all mixes together anyway" is inappropriate.
Liquids should not be taken in large gulps, but gently sipped.
Do not drunk while you have food in your mouth.
Reaching for objects on the table for yourself is ok as long as they are just as near to you as they are the person sitting next to you.
Acquiring the last morsel by using your knife or a piece of bread as a pusher is fine as long as you do not tip the bowl or plate.
Never use your fingers to push anything on your plate or bowl.
Getting the last bit of meat off a bone by picking it up with your hands is fine at home or informally with friends, but first cut as much off as possible with your knife as to not look like a prehistoric person. Do not to lick your fingers.
When you need to take anything out of your mouth take it out of your mouth the way it went in, clean the pit or bone as much as possible in your mouth, then put it in your spoon or fork with your lips, and then to the edge of your plate. With fruit that is eaten with you hands, you take the pit out of your mouth with your fingers.
Coughing or sneezing sometimes just can not be helped, just cover your mouth or nose with your handkerchief, not your napkin, cover it with something. If you must, leave the table, it will be understood if you are not able to say "Excuse me" until you come back. If you must blow your nose, do it as quietly as possible.
Comments about the quality or taste of the food, unless you want to say it is yummy, are taboo. Eat what you can, or don't take any if you can't, but do not make it dinner conversation.
Spoiled food or something that just does not taste right to you can be covered by using your fork to put it from your mouth to the plate. Cover it quickly and quietly, if possible, with a piece of bread or whatever you have on your plate. For foreign matter in the food such as bird feathers or the stems of fruit or a fish bone is taken out of your mouth – usually with your fingers– and put on the side of your plate. If you find a bug in your food just move it if you do not mind, or don't eat the food if you do.
Fifth SubTopic: When hired help serves you
Take the food from the serving dishes yourself, you must wait until the hired help is on your left, pick up the serving spoon with your right hand and the fork with your left, and lift the nearest portion of food to your plate, stabilizing what is on the spoon with the fork.
You do not divide a turkey leg from the thigh, you put the whole serving on your plate. Never put anything from a serving platter and put it directly into your mouth. Put it on your plate first.
Never ask the hired help for anything directly, but speak to your host or hostess.
When the hired help passes the food, you need not need to thank him or her each time you take something from a platter, but you always thank her when you refuse ("No, thank you." do not just a shake of the head).
Sixth SubTopic: If you are the host or hostess
The host or hostess' table manners are the same as anyone else's, except that he or she must be alert to his or her guests' needs.
If a guest refuses food offered, it would be very rude to insist that he or she indulge, this persistence puts the guest in the position of talking about his or her food problems, which is very rude of him or her.
The host or hostess should start eating as soon as his or her plate is served, so that any guests who are waiting may go ahead and eat. He or she should eat slowly enough so that no slow – eating guest is left to finish all by himself.
Thank you.
Please, move on through the other pages of this site.
It was a pleasure to have met you.
I remain,
R~
www.tvmediarelations@aol.com
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All INTERNET CLASSES AND QUESTIONS ARE FREE
Lady Rose
Etiquette Advisor
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Enjoy your day!!
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